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Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI

TEOTWAWKI Murphy's Laws of TEOTWAWKI Survival
We decided to take a lighter look TEOTWAWKI with a Survival Cache original,  Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI.  If you know Murphy then you know, if it can happen…..it will.



Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI

From Wikipedia: Murphy’s Law is an adage that is typically stated as: “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong”.
1.  Food, you still don’t have enough
2.  People without back up shelters might be without shelter
3.  People with guns and no food are finding out that people with food have guns too
4.  Look hungry, they might leave you alone.
5.  Seed bank, the new source of wealth
6.  Insects, It’s what’s for dinner
7.  Gun shots, they attract unwanted attention
8.  Ask everyone if they have food or water, Jedi mind tricks might work on desperate people
9.  Wood burning stoves, they are like pots of gold
10.  The less people you know, the better off you are
11.  Mormons, suddenly they have a lot of new friends
TEOTWAWKI Survival
12.  Friendly hungry people…..aren’t
13.  People who thought they could make it with just a survival knife are finding out they can’t
14.  Satellite Dishes, they make great family dinner tables
15.  If invited to a dinner party and you can’t figure out what’s on the menu, it’s you
16.  Houses full of food attract the unwanted envy of hungry people
17.  Friends who show up without food are not good friends
18.  Electricity, the good old daysTEOTWAWKI
19.  Dog Food, who knew
20.  Cash, its a great way to start a fire
21.  Alternative energy, you’re kicking yourself now for not investing in it
22.  Watching your garden grow, the new Sunday afternoon sport
23.  The Government, it will feed itself first
24.  Large groups of people with guns make the rules
25.  Bad water & Montezuma’s Revenge, they have come to America
26.  People who thought the Government would save them, found out that it didn’t
27.  Hospitals, no longer a place of healing
28.  EMP, now everyone knows what it means
29.  Sandy dry soil, suddenly not such a cool place to live anymore
30.  If food is the new currency then fresh water is a hot commodity
31.  Gold coins, they don’t taste very good
32.  Toilet paper, should have bought more of that stuff
33.  Ham radio operators, who are the nerds now?
34.  Burning Green Wood = Smoke / Smoke = Attention / Attention = Bad
35.  Trying to start a fire with two sticks?  Should have stocked up on more matches

Please add your Murphy’s Laws of TEOTWAWKI to the comments below.

"Bugout Versus Hunker" Short Story by Christopher Young - Chapter 7

"Honey, you got any bandaids in there?" he called. The
tent zipper came up a foot or two. "Some in the first
aid kit, in the truck, maybe." The look on Butch's face
reminded her. Oh, yeah. The truck got towed. She opened
her bug out bag, there had to be some first aid stuff
there. The twins had used all the bandaids on Haloween.
The closest she found to a bandage was a napkin from
McDonalds, with some coffee spilled on it. "Heck, I
don't know if I should drink this, or wrap my thumb
with it..." it had been yesterday at dinner they last
had coffee. Maybe that's why they were both crabby.

One of the twins looked up from the mat in the center
of the tent. "I'm hungry...." he whined. Butch
remembered that the MRE could be eaten cold. Not as
good, but what to do. Morale was rapidly suffering.
Butch looked into the tent, and said "Hand me a MRE,
soldier." The boy looked miffed, at being called soldier.
But, he did obediently hand Dad a MRE. Dad pulled out
his Rambo knife, and took an energetic stab at the green
foil package. The knife tip went through the mylar, and
a hiss could be heard, as the vacuum seal released. Dad
tipped out the contents of the pack. Both boys grabbed
at the MRE brownie. The girl read the green cardboard
boxes, and rolled her eyes. "Well, lets see. Some choice.
Camel turds, or sheep intestines." She put her Ipod
earbuds back in. Good for three days, on set of AAA
batteries. NOthing like some heavy metal to drown out
the rumbling of her stomach.

Charles was also listening to a sound system. But, the
sound system for him was the AM radio in the kitchen.
The radio broadcaster had been talking about the food
riots, in the city. Charles had recently purchased a
fire and police band scanner. He tuned in the fire
channel. They were overloaded with calls, which didn't
surprise Charles. All the fire calls were in the city.
Aparently, the mobs and riots were in the city, also.

Charles took his small flash light, and looked in the
freezer. He pulled out several frozen TV dinners which
they had bought, right before the power went off. "No
microwave, honey..." his wife said. Charles had been
thinking about the various parts of the TV dinner, and
figured he could cook them up, on the gas range. Charles
got a pan out of the cabinet, and opened the first TV
dinner. He peeled back the plastic just far enough to
extract the chunk of frozen corn. Put that in the pan,
and turned the flame on low. His wife got the idea
immediately. She got another pan from the cabinet,
and started to put the chicken entrees in the pan.
She did all five, and then put in a tiny bit of water
from the tap. In a few minutes, the smells of dinner
filled the house. The youngest daughter asked "How did
you do that?" Mom replied "Magic, princess, magic."
Within seconds, three children were at the table, arms
folded for the prayer and blessing on the food.

Charles gave thanks that the family was healthy and
well. They had no problems with thier neighbors, and
that they appeared to be safe, for now. He asked the
divine protection, that they should remain safe. When
he finished his prayer, the family said Amen, and the
food was cool enough to eat.

With no refrigeration, Charles knew that the food in the
refrigerator would soon spoil. Had to keep it cold, some
how. Finally, the answer occured to him. He'd put the
food in a cooler chest, and put it in the  trunk of the
family car. That way, it would be reasonably secure
against bears, but would be cold enough not to spoil.
Charles mentioned the idea to his wife, who thought was
a good idea. She promised to get the cooler out, after
dinner.

After dinner, there was no television to watch. Dad
offered to read from the Bible, to keep them entertained.
They found a chapter with a lot of action, and sat down
to read. As Dad was reading, both girls started to get
sleepy. Mom carried them up to bed, and tucked them in.
They had solar garden lights that Dad had put in the
window, and they provided enough light to get to the
bathroom for potty runs. The boy stayed up a bit later.
Father and son went to the cellar, to split more kindling
for the next day's fire. The boy enjoyed using an axe.

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